Always An Impossible Dream
by IceRoseDragonGurl
Summary: Their strong desire to be together leads to dire consequences for one. Now the other must choose to either let the one he loves die or give up on that love to save his life. Pairing is a secret 'cuz I'm mean. Shounen Ai


Wow, it's been a while...and I should be ashamed of myself (but I'm not!). I've just now gotten back in the mood to write after letting my time being consumed with playing Dragon Warrior Monsters...and Pokemon...and doing everything else besides writing. But hopefully I'll have a lot more time to devote to my horribly neglected fics and start some new ones. In the mean time, here's a little something to whet your appetites. This was supposed to be a one-shot, but seeing as I haven't gotten as far in it as I would've liked, it's going to be a two-parter. It's shounen ai (that means guyXguy love. If you can't stand that stuff, LEAVE NOW!) and I've decided to keep the pairing a secret because I'm mean. I'll give a teeny tiny hint, though...it's a very popular pairing (and if any of you are thinking SetoxJonouchi, then you are DEAD WRONG! I can't **_stand_** those two as a couple...). Let's just say that they've recently become my second favorite pairing due to...reasons (my first fav still being YugixJonouchi).

Yugi: IceRose, are you ever gonna start this fic?

IceRose: Well, speak of the devil. Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Yugi: I'm not dead. My soul is just sealed away.

IceRose: If it isn't in your body, then you're dead as far as I'm concerned. As long as you're here, you can do the stupid disclaimer since my unofficial muses are nowhere to be found at the moment.

Yugi: Alright. IceRoseDragonGurl doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but she is currently devising a plan to...

IceRose (immediately covers his mouth): Don't read that part, dumbass! On with the fic!

* * *

Always an Impossible Dream

He could wait no longer. The time had finally come-the time to get everything out in the open. He had finally decided to tell the one he loved how he felt. Nothing on earth would deter him from his mission. He had held his feelings back for too long already, plus he realized if he didn't let everything out now, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

He decided to meet with his beloved at their special place, the one place where they could truly be alone. He tried to maintain his composure even as anxiety and fear threatened to overtake him. He didn't think about possibly being rejected as it didn't matter at that point. He just concentrated on finding the words to reveal his feelings, because once he did, they could go on from there.

Once he felt he was ready, he went to that special place where his beloved awaited him.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You look like you have a lot on your mind."

"I'm alright. I...I just need to tell you something."

"Go on."

As soon as he gazed into the eyes of his beloved, he felt his words leaving him, barely being able to speak.

"Well, I, uh, that is, I, uh..."

"Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I...I like you."

"I like you too."

"No, I mean...I like you...a lot."

"So do I."

"No, what I'm trying to say is...I..."

To his surprise, his beloved wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer until there was barely any space between them, placing a finger over his lips.

"You don't need to say anymore. I know what you're trying to tell me, and I feel the same way."

"Really?"

"Yes. I always have and I always will."

He was completely speechless. He didn't know what to make of his beloved's admission, yet he was elated to know they felt the same way about each other. Soon all thoughts left him as his face was cupped in the hands of his beloved. They leaned in closer, eyes closing, trembling in anticipation of feeling each other's lips against each other for the first time...

He opened his eyes and found himself laying in bed, the room dimly lit by moonlight. It didn't take him long to realize that what he just went through never happened.

All he could do was roll over on his side and break down in tears. This was the third night in a week he had the dream, and each time he awoke from it, he felt empty, confused, and alone. He knew no matter how hard he wished that his dream would never come true, but that fact didn't make it hurt any less. The feelings he had were real, yet he could never act on them, for the one he loved was a part of him, destined never to exist in the same place at the same time. He never imagined love would be so painful, but he knew that this was how it was to be, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

His name was Yugi Moto, and the one he loved was his Yami.

* * *

"The Protector"

Yugi somehow managed to stop crying, but he couldn't get back to sleep-not that he would've been able to anyway. He was afraid he would have that dream again. That impossible dream. The one he knew could never be anything more.

He began to think of him and all they had been through that brought them to this point. He didn't know how or why it happened, but ever since Pegasus's defeat at Duelist Kingdom, Yugi's feelings for his other half began to develop into something he himself did not expect.

From the minute he became aware of his existence, he found something alluring about the dark spirit that he could never figure out. It was more than likely the way he would protect the young boy from those who sought to threaten him. Of course there were times when his Yami's methods of protecting him didn't meet with Yugi's approval, but in the end the dark spirit regained the boy's trust when he saw the great lengths he went to in order to keep him from harm during that fateful final battle.

It was then that an obvious yet heartbreaking realization hit Yugi. His Yami was his guardian, his protector, and that's all he would ever be.

It wasn't long before the young boy found himself in tears once again, feeling more lost than ever about the hopeless situation he was in. He was doomed to bury his feelings for the rest of his life, doomed to be denied of the love he so strongly desired, doomed to never be with his beloved, doomed to never realize his impossible dream.

* * *

"The Ghost"

Yugi could barely keep his eyes open in class the next day due to his lack of sleep. His best friend Jonouchi was the first to notice, so after school he tried to find out what was going on with him.

"Hey Yug, you feelin' alright?"

"No Jou, I feel like crap. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in three days."

"What's wrong?"

"Well, I've been having this dream..."

"Like a nightmare?"

"No, far from it. The thing is it makes me want to die after I wake up from it."

"What kind of dream makes you feel like that?"

"One that can never come true."

"Just what is it about anyway?"

"Mou hitori no boku...and my feelings for him..."

"Your feelings? You mean..."

"Yes. I'm in love with him."

"Oh. So does he know?"

"No, and I think it would be best if it stayed that way."

"Why? Sure it might seem a little weird, but what do I know? I think you should go for it."

"Jonouchi-kun, it's not that simple!"

"Why not? I don't see what the problem is."

"Of course _you _wouldn't. You don't know what it's like to love someone you can never touch. You don't know what it's like to want something so bad and to know you can never have it. You'll never know!"

"Yugi..."

He ran away from there as fast as he could. He didn't mean to blow up at Jonouchi like that, but he just couldn't understand what he was going through-no one ever would.

The minute he got home, he ran straight to bed and cried into his pillow until sleep overtook him. Unfortunately the accursed dream returned, causing him to awake in tears before it reached the end.

"_Why won't it go away? I can't keep torturing myself like this, but I don't have a choice. He can never know how I feel about him. Why? Why did this have to happen to me? How long is this going to go on? How long must I suffer?_ Mou hitori no boku..."

"Aibou...".

* * *

"The Impossible Touch"

The young boy knew that voice all too well. It was the voice of his other half, his darker soul, the one whom he secretly harbored deep unrequited feelings for, the one he loved more than life itself-his Yami.

"_Mou hitori no boku...why has he come? Did I unconsciously call out to him without realizing it? Does he know of my deepest desire?_"

He summoned the strength to sit up and face his Yami, who sat on the edge of the bed in spirit form, trying his best to hide his longing and despair from him.

"Mou hitori no boku..." he acknowledged.

"Aibou, why are you in so much pain?" the dark spirit asked in concern.

"Pain? What are you talking about? I feel fine," he pathetically lied.

"Don't lie to me, Yugi. I can feel your despair. I can hear your cries at night. I couldn't bear to see you like this, but I didn't want to push you. When I heard you call out to me just now, I knew I couldn't stay away any longer. Now, tell me what has you so troubled."

"It's...it's nothing you need to worry about."

"Please mou hitori no ore, you can tell me anything."

His Yami tried to coax him into talking by reaching out a hand to touch him. When Yugi saw it, his sadness left him for a moment, wanting to feel his touch desperately, but it quickly returned once he realized that his wish would not be granted, so he immediately turned away from the spirit.

"Don't even bother."

"Yugi..."

"We both know I won't be able to feel it."

"But Yugi, I want to help you."

"You can't alright!"

"Why are you acting like this?"

"You wanna know why? Because you're only a spirit whose touch I can never feel and that's why we can never be together!"

Both teens' faces became washed over with astonishment. Yugi had inadvertently revealed his big secret to the one person he didn't want finding out while Yami struggled to register his hikari's admission.

"Aibou...you want to...be with me?"

"I...I...forget what I just said."

"I...can't."

"You'll have to."

"How can you expect me to do that?"

"Because no matter how much I wish for it, you'll never be a flesh and blood person."

"Aibou..."

"Just go away."

Yugi buried his face in his pillow and cried his heart out, leaving the dark spirit to helplessly watch him.

"_Aibou, I don't know what to do. If only I had realized sooner how you felt about me, how you wanted me as much as I wanted you, then maybe..._"

Yami then sat beside Yugi, who continued sobbing into his pillow.

"_I'm sorry Aibou, but I can't leave you like this. You need me now more than you ever have._"

He slowly began to reach out his hand to touch Yugi again, concentrating all his energy into accomplishing the task.

"_Please, let me feel him, even for a second..._"

Just as his hand nears the boy's shoulder, a dark eerie light emits from the Millennium Puzzle...

* * *

"Miraculous Curse"

Yugi was shaken out of his gloomy state when he suddenly felt a slight weight on his shoulder.

"_What's...going on? C-could it be?"_

He slowlyturned his head to see a hand resting there, freezing in his tracks.

"_Is this...is this a dream?_

He sat up and turned his body to see the source of this hand and nearly jumped out of his skin. The mysterious hand belonged to none other than his Yami.

What spooked him out the most was that the spirit was no longer transparent. He could actually clearly see his face, smell his scent, hear his breathing, touch him..._touch him_...the thing he wanted to do more than anything. It seemed as if his impossible dream had finally come true, but somewhere in the back of his mind he wasn't thoroughly convinced, so he reluctantly gently poked at this mystery hand. It felt warm, soft, smooth to the touch. Even though it seemed real he still wasn't completely sure. He began to lightly brush his fingers over it, which soon turned into soft caresses. It wasn't long before he was snapped out of his trance when the hand quickly and gently grabbed on to his. He jerked his head up to meet the orbs of crimson that gazed at him lovingly, soothingly, and adoringly all at once.

"Aibou..."

"Mou...mou hitori...no boku. Please tell me this isn't my mind playing a cruel joke on me."

To prove to him once and for all that he was not dreaming, the Yami pulled his aibou into a warm, protective, loving embrace. Yugi couldn't deny it any longer. The rapture he felt being in those strong arms was too real to be a trick.

"You...you're here. You're really here," Yugi cried as he finally wrapped his arms around his Yami's waist.

"Yes Yugi, just as I always have been, and just as I always will be."

They held each other for a while, taking in each other's scents, rubbing hands up and down backs, marking and remembering the feeling of being in each other's arms.

"Do you know how long I've wanted this, craved this feeling of being with you like this?" Yugi told him as he hugged him even tighter, "Promise me that we'll stay like this forever."

"Always."

He reveled in the rapture of being in his other half's arms a while longer before he decided it was time he truly told him how he felt.

"Mou hitori?"

"Yes?"

"I need...I need to tell you something."

"Alright."

He pulled away from his Yami and took hold of both of his hands, gazing deeply into the other's eyes.

"First off, I want to apologize for being a jerk before."

"There's no need."

"Yes there is. I shouldn't have tried to push you away. You were only trying to help."

The Yami let go of one of Yugi's hands to brush away the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes.

"Aibou, it's alright."

"Mou hitori, you're so perfect. Sometimes I feel like I'm not worthy of you."

"Yugi, don't say that!"

"It's true. I don't have your strength, your determination, your bravery and courage. Maybe if I was more like you, I wouldn't be such a weakling."

"You don't need to be like me Aibou. You have your own strength that I see in you every day. I've seen it from the day we joined together."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I mean it. You are my Hikari, my light. You delivered me from the darkness and saved me from eternal madness. You, my precious one, are more than worthy of me."

"Thank you mou hitori no boku. Now I can finally tell you what I've been wanting, no, needing to say for so long."

"What's that?"

Yugi gently grabbed the hand that caressed his face, intertwining their fingers together.

"Simply that I admire you, I adore you and...I love you."

The young boy found himself being pulled closer to his other half, leaving barely any space between them.

"I love you too Aibou."

Their eyes locked on each other, the Yami softly caressed Yugi's face. They leaned in closer, eyes closing, anticipating the feeling of their lips touching for the first time, all the while one thought racing through Yugi's head...

"_Please don't let this be a dream..._"

Then all thoughts left him as they were quickly replaced by bolts of pleasure courtesy of the kiss. It was better than he could've ever dreamed. The two teens soon drowned themselves into the slowly deepening kiss, never noticing when they both ended up laying on the bed, the taller boy on top of the shorter.

"When did we lay down?" Yugi breathlessly asked.

"I don't know," the Yami replied in between pants.

They lost themselves in another intimate kiss before the taller decided he wanted to explore the shorter boy's neck. Every touch from his lover's warm lips sent shivers down Yugi's spine, causing soft ecstatic moans of delight to escape him. When his lover moved up to his right ear, he felt his whole body falling into a relaxed state.

"Oh, this is so good. I feel so...so..."

Soon the boy's soft moans became whispers then steady breathing.

"Aibou? Aibou? Yugi?"

The Yami left his lover's ear to see why he became suddenly still and found that he was peacefully sleeping.

"_Oh. You're asleep_," he thought with slight disappointment, "Sleep well, my tenshi no koishii," he whispered.

He pulled the covers over his precious light and prepared to lay next to him when he felt a sudden sharpness in his chest.

"_No, please, not yet. I need more time..._"

As soon as the pain subsided, he crawled under the covers and held Yugi as close as he could without waking him.

"_Oh my precious one, we must now cherish every moment we have together, because giving in to our desires will be my downfall. But I will never regret what I have done. I would die a thousands time to be with you like this forever."_

He gently caressed his beloved's hair until he eventually succumbed to sleep himself, still holding on to his precious angel in his protective, loving embrace.

* * *

Well, did you enjoy part one? I hope you did, 'cuz part two is gonna be even better. 

Yugi: IceRose, what kind of plan are you devising?

IceRose: Whatever are you talking about?

Yugi: The plan you mentioned in the part of the disclaimer you didn't want me to read.

IceRose: Oh, that. Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head over, okay?

Yugi: I don't find that very reassuring.

IceRose: Who cares? Anyway, I'm not gonna sit here and say when this will be updated because that wouldn't be fair. It could be weeks, months, years...well, hopefully not years...but you get my point. Let's just say it might be a while because I'm also working on about 4 or 5 other fics right now and trying to get in the mood to finish another major one. In the meantime, leave me a review, flame, or some other form of communication so I'll know if anyone read this and I can see how good it is or how bad it sucked or what I need to change. Till next time, folks!

Yugi: Are you gonna tell me what the plan is now?

IceRose: No.

Yugi: Aww...


End file.
